Dave & Grandma Maxine (1995)

Today would have been my Grandma Maxine's 97th birthday (it was always easy to remember her birthday since it's on Groundhog's Day).  I loved her more than I can describe. When she passed away in1999 I was devastated (I was so lucky to have my wife by my side during this difficult time). Grandma Maxine was one of my first financial mentors. She tried to teach me the "right" way to handle money- spend less than you make & always save for the future. As a member of what is sometimes called the "Greatest Generation", she was a firm believer that in order to succeed you had to get a good education. She helped teach me to love reading, supported my interests and always pushed me to do well in school.

Grandma Maxine (who is actually my Great-Grandmother) was born in 1915, the oldest of 7 kids. She spent her childhood helping her mother take care of her younger siblings. Many of her teenage years & most of her early 20's were during the Great Depression. Grandma Maxine worked as a telephone switchboard operator for the Continental Oil Company (Conoco) until she retired at some point in the 1960's (at that time, advances in telephone technology made her job obsolete).

Grandma Maxine (far right) working in the Conoco switchboard room (not sure what year this was taken)

There were many times growing up that the only reason I was able to participate in certain activities was because of her generosity. She paid for me to be in honor choir, attend drama/debate competitions, buy new clothes & be a student representative in Washington, D.C. because my parents couldn't afford it. When I had financial questions, Grandma Maxine was one of the few people I would talk to about it. She had saved and saved and saved some more. Her simple plan provided her with a fairly comfortable retirement.

Her conservative choices also allowed her to spoil me (the first grandchild) a little...okay...A LOT. Grandma Maxine bought my first car- a brand new 1993 GMC Sierra truck for $16,000 CASH a couple of months after I turned 16. She always had a large sum of money just lying around the house (she called it her "Mad Money") & was generous enough to give some of it to me. My Grandmother also funded my first two business ventures- a Mobile DJ business (it's one of the ways I made money in High School & College) & a CD/Record Store (which my best friend & I opened in High School). Both of those businesses made a decent amount of money, but she never asked for anything in return (although we did fill out a contract & I offered to pay).

I also credit Grandma Maxine with encouraging me to pursue my dream of being on the Radio. I used to sit in her kitchen with her as she listened to her favorite Talk Shows on her old AM Transistor Radio. I loved the way those guys sounded & I wanted to be like them. So, she gave me a Panasonic RQ-2107 Portable Cassette Recorder (which I still have) to practice. I would go around her house interviewing the chairs, the tables, the lamps & other inanimate objects (giving each a unique voice & character). I'd also practice my interviewing techniques on her & Grandpa Bill (My Great-Grandfather who passed away in 1991). I still have a lot of those tapes and am looking for a place that can digitize them for me (for a reasonable price, that is).

Even in her late 60's she'd get down on the floor with me & play if I asked. We spent many hours playing with my Superhero Action Figures, G.I. Joe & other toys. I'm not sure if she had any idea who the characters were or what I was talking about. But we had fun together.

When I first started dating my wife, I made it a priority for them to meet. My wife has told me on several occasions that she was scared to death to meet Grandma Maxine because of the "pedestal" on which I placed her in my life. She was really worried Grandma Maxine wouldn't like her. But Grandma Maxine loved her! I even proposed to my wife at Grandma Maxine's house, in the bedroom where I slept as a child. I know the location meant more to me than it did my wife- but I think she understood. We really wanted Grandma Maxine to be a part of our wedding but, unfortunately, she had a stroke just before our wedding and was unable to attend.

We visited Grandma Maxine the weekend she died. In fact, we drove home Sunday night and called her to let her know we got home okay. My wife talked to her because I was really tired from all the driving. I'll always regret not talking to her. Grandma Maxine died that night sitting on her couch. She had taken off her glasses, set them on the table, put her crocheting needles & yarn down beside her, laid her head back & passed away. We believe she left us that night because her work was complete. During our visit I was able to tell her I was graduating from college (something she'd been pushing me to do since elementary school), my wife & I were going to try to start a family (I wanted to be a daddy), I had a good job & we were happy together (my wife was there to take care of me & I was there to take care of her).

Even in death Grandma Maxine tried to take care of me (us). She left me a good deal of money. Enough money that many of my relatives haven't spoken to me since the reading of her will. More money than I'd ever seen (or made) in my life. And like many people who find themselves with a windfall- I spent it all, got in debt to maintain that lifestyle & ended up filing Bankruptcy!

I still can't believe what I did. I was so stupid! I ignored what she told me to do all those years- save money for the future. I failed her. Just typing those three words brings tears to my eyes even now. She would have been so disappointed in my actions. I knew better. We ate out all the time...we went on vacation...we bought a timeshare...and when we ran out of cash- we used credit cards...ugh! The only smart things I did with the money was pay off a few student loans & use some of it as a down payment on a house.

I know I'll never be able to tell her how sorry I am or forgive myself for what I did with the money she gave me to provide a comfortable future for my family. All I can do is what I think Grandma Maxine would have suggested in this situation. Really, the Debt Black Hole has always been my secret tribute to her. Without the financial knowledge she shared with me about her experiences during the Great Depression & how to live without (or with very little), I don't think we would have survived our 5-year Chapter 13 Bankruptcy. She told my wife & I on several occasions that there is nothing you can't work through. She's absolutely right. We made it through the Ultimate Financial Abyss & we're a stronger team now because of it.

My plan is to share more of her insights with you on the Debt Black Hole. I don't think she'd understand what a blog is- but she'd be honored that I included her on it.

 Happy Birthday Grandma Maxine! We love you!

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Picture by Rosaura Ochoa

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Ready for my obligatory Valentine's Day post? It's not going to be a normal one (not that anything on this site is normal, really). I'm not going to give you tips to find the best deal on flowers, chocolates or other lovey-dovey nonsense. So, if that's what you're looking for...you're going to be as disappointed with me as most Geeks were after watching The Last Airbender!

I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day. Even though I always enjoyed decorating my Valentine's Day box and would spend hours picking out just the right Valentine's Day cards (of course, I still have a pack of authentic Stargate movie Valentine's Day cards in the box) and candy to give to my classmates at school, I was almost always disappointed with what I got in return. I'd always get the "let's be friends" or "you're my buddy" ones from the girls I liked. (Sure, they could have had a great guy like me...but noooooooooo...I was just a nerd. I wasn't good enough for them. Well, I just hope they're happy living in that government subsidized double-wide trailer with their 6 kids & living off WIC because their exes can't- or won't- pay child support! Not that I'm bitter or anything...um...okay...let's move on...)

Despite my strong extreme negative feelings toward this completely commercially-fabricated holiday, I know boycotting or ignoring it will not get me XP's on the marriage front. Luckily, my wife understands...to a point. She doesn't expect flowers or the typical gifts. I mean, how is me spending $100 on something that will shrivel up & die in a couple of days a true testament or expression of my LOVE or admiration for her? Chocolates, cards, spa trips and other things don't impress me either. If the point is just spending money, I should just hand her $100 & tell her to have a fun night without me or the kids tagging along. I'm sure that time alone would be PRICELESS to her!

When I give a gift, I want it to be unique, special & have a lasting impression. Since I'm a huge supporter of literacy, literacy programs and always encourage my family & friends to read more books- I found something unique to give my wife: personalized romance novels!

Stop laughing! I'm serious. A few years ago I was contacted by Kathy Newbern & JS Fletcher from YourNovel.com asking if I'd be willing to interview them on my Radio Show. I was a bit hesitant at first, but once I checked out their website I knew they were on to something! I've had them on the air many times. I think they are BRILLIANT! They started out as travel writers & ended up using experiences from their travels to write these personalized books.

The first of these books I got for my wife was for Valentine's Day 2004. Although she likes romance novels, I was a little worried about whether my wife would like the unusual gift. And my fears were warranted. When she opened the wrapped box, she picked it up, stared at it and gave me this look like "really, that's it?"

I saw the look of disappointment on her face. I quickly took action (to avoid sleeping on the couch) and told her to look at it again. The title was "Let The Good Times Roll" (this is a New Orleans/Mardi Gras themed novel). She was obviously not impressed. I told her to open it. She rolled her eyes & flipped open the cover. When her eyes started to scan the page, a brief hint of a smile appeared on her face. It reads, "A Personalized Romance Novel Featuring" followed by our names in big, bold print. She turned the page again. A full, beautiful smile formed as she read, "This Book Is Lovingly Dedicated To My Partner In All Things...From Your Husband- Dave. Happy Valentine's Day, February 14, 2004."

Once she started reading the book, she couldn't put it down. It's been the same for every personalized romance novel I've bought for her since then. Thanks to Kathy & JS (they write together using Fletcher Newbern as a pen name), Marcy Thomas & the other contributing authors- my wife & I have had extremely interesting (and passionate) trips & adventures all over the world. We've worked on a Krewe & escaped VooDoo curses in New Orleans, been mistaken for thieves/spies in Rome, been part of a Crime Drama in a small town and even searched for hidden treasure in Florida. There are 28 different books available- so I have a long way to go before I exhaust this awesome Valentine's Day gift resource.

But trust me- the books are A LOT cheaper than the trips to these places would actually cost! In most cases, they're even cheaper than buying flowers. Prices for the books range from $19.95 (usually the eBook versions) to $119.95 (for Hardback versions with your photo included somewhere on the cover). I usually get the paperback versions ($79.95 w/photo or $49.95 without a photo). A dozen roses from 1-800-Flowers will cost you $45-$200 or more (but they don't last as long as the memories & experiences created from reading one of these books).

If you're wondering how they personalize the books, let me explain. When you order the book, you fill out a form that asks you the normal stuff (like name, billing info, address, etc.). But you also submit certain details like your hair color, eye color, favorite radio stations, type of car you drive, nearest airport, favorite cologne/perfume, favorite colors, best friend names, occupations, your "pet names" for each other, how long you've been together as a couple and they use all of it in the story. It's this unique twist that's made my wife question (on more than one occasion) whether we've ACTUALLY done some of this stuff or not. She read a romance novel about us, so in her mind, we had those experiences.

You also get to choose whether you want the WILD or MILD version of the novel when you order it. The WILD version uses the extremely detailed "classic romance novel" descriptions of love-making. The MILD version is for the more faint of heart (read: conservative) readers and leave out the intimate details. So, technically, I guess you could order one of these for your mother or grandmother to have a little fun (just if you do get them a WILD version make sure you don't read any of it- you'll have nightmares).

I like this concept so much, I've talked to Kathy & JS about writing a superhero novel for them! But don't let me get too far ahead of myself...that's a future project. Right now, I have to decide which of the novels to get my wife for Valentine's Day this year. So many great stories to choose from...but the one that's jumping out at me is the "Vampire Saga: A Trio of Tales" by Gail Gibbs. As long as they're not sparkly, whiny teenagers- Vampires are cool (and yes- my wife likes them, too)!

Now that I've shared my unique Valentine's Day gift secret, what's yours? What "lights the fires of passion" for your significant other?

**BTW- The reason I posted this at the end of January is to give you plenty of time to be able to order one of these novels- and get it delivered- by this Valentine's Day!**

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I couldn't resist writing this post because it gives me another opportunity to compare something in space to personal finance (like I've done with Black Holes & Debt)!

Sunday's M8.7 class solar flare [which you can see in the video above] (BTW- here's how solar flares are measured) created a massive CME (Coronal Mass Ejection) that headed straight for Earth. Perhaps you were even lucky enough to live far enough North to see how the increase of Solar Radiation impacted the Aurora Borealis (those of us in Texas were too far South to see any of it...plus it was raining). Thankfully, Scientists say this CME was relatively harmless (although some planes were routed away from the North Pole to avoid damaging GPS & other systems). NOAA measures these kinds of Geomagnetic Storms on a 1 to 5 scale with 5 being the strongest & most dangerous. This recent storm was only a 3.

Although they were able to react to the storm (it took a couple of days to get here) and take precautions to save equipment & keep exposure to a minimum, they didn't know it was coming. That means our best Scientists, despite having access to state-of-the-art technology, have absolutely no way of predicting when a Solar Flare will occur or how dangerous it is until after it's already happened. Yikes!

We have the same problem with Financial Emergencies (FE's if you will). There's no way to predict when it's going to happen or how devastating it will be to your finances when it does. That's why it's so important to put an emergency financial plan or system in place...just in case the Universe throws something at you without warning (it likes to do that sometimes, you know).

Even though they can't predict Solar Flares, these Scientists do know how to identify one when it occurs, are able to measure how strong it is, have experts available to analyze the data & immediately take whatever steps are necessary to get the word out or enact a plan. And you know what? We can be just as smart as they are...at least with our finances! Even though we can't predict a Financial Emergency- we still need to be able to see the signs to identify one the moment it occurs, be able to measure and assess how bad it is & immediately take whatever steps are necessary to fix it or lessen the impact on our lives.

What can you do? Use the technology that is available to help you. Set up account alerts or notifications, actively monitor your credit report & accounts, have professionals or mentors available to answer questions during rough times, create action plans for possible situations (i.e. job loss, death, long-term illness, natural disaster, etc.) and...most importantly...make sure you have some cash set aside (yes- the ever popular EMERGENCY FUND) in a liquid, easily accessible, account. Doing just those few things will likely put you in a better position than the majority of your friends, family, co-workers and neighbors! I don't know about you...but knowing that makes me feel all warm & fuzzy inside (or that could be the extra solar radiation).

Do you already have a plan or system you can use in case of a Financial Emergency? Feel free to share...

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So, how do you (or will you) teach your kids to be responsible with money & finances? What age do you think a child should have their own bank account? Other than the ING Direct Money account (not an affiliate link) I mentioned in the video, have you found any other good financial products for kids/teens?

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